Rebuilding Our Selves

sometimes looks like a total and complete mess to others.

And that's okay.





My last post was in 2018, about two years after I started my practice and built my initial website.

Despite my love of writing and my lifetime of journal-keeping, I admit I lack in the Blogging area. I keep buying these Writers Block spell candles, but I think it's time to call in the big boys and go for Hynotherapy. Have any of you reading this ever tried that? Has it worked for good? Send me some information in my email or the comments section to share with everyone if you feel compelled!


Writing was my first love, before there was Zaí, before there was Massage. And I have so much to say about massage, the human body functions, what I have experienced in the changing of my Self, my connection and awareness to my own body as a student and teacher, helping others see the connection in their bodies, talking about pains and relationships to surprising areas, posture, stretching, water, and all the other things to keep us alive and well until we choose otherwise.


Too much, society and mainstream media tells us we have no control over our health and normalizes the breaking down of the body by the age of 40, and too much, this lie is believed!!! I cannot go another word without letting you continue to believe this terrible and awful lie. You have full control. And it's not as easy as wearing a knee-brace for six weeks and drinking water.


Injuries, dysfunctions, irritations, etc........assosicate directly with the BS we are holding in and holding onto. Let it out and stop denying yourself! This has sort of always been my motto for myself and others.

I hurt my hand because I overworked myself and didn't give enough rest time or gratitude to my hands, therefore they stood up and said "NO MORE!" I must now challenge my Ego to come back and look at the way I book myself and ask myself, "Have I created enough balance in this area of my life?"

I hurt my knee, because I kept dancing about 10 minutes after I should have stopped and already been making my way out the door. Our Ego is often connected to Knee Injuries when we push ourselves further than we know we ought to, for the sake of being recognized and/or celebrated. This is why you see it so much in full-time athletes, but also there is more to be accounted for for that.


So, you can take any one of your injuries, chronic pains, mental blocks, physical illnesses, and/or any mysterious pains you are having and coorelate them directly to something emotional and/or spiritual that You somewhere inside of You are trapping and withholding from ever seeing daylight. This is typically something like Power, Unique Thought, Creativity, Personal Expression, Feelings of Being Enough, perspective of Self-Worth, Mental Talk, Inability/Unwillingness to Let Go of Past Hurts, Resentment, Blame, Self-Judgement, Guilt, Shame, Childhood Trauma, Ignored Feelings, Flippant Attitude toward Emotions and Injuries, Lack of appropriate Rest and Recovery for old injuries, Poor Posture habits that trap in stagnant energy, and general World View, and this list is just to name a few.


When we rebuild our Selves, it is more than implementing an extra 15 minutes of into a desired part of your day. It is opening yourself up to rediscovering and entirely new layer of yourself you have either been ignoring or had no conscious idea you were there in the first place, by doing the new implementation. The process can be triggering. I hurt my knee only after 11 months I said I was going to start jogging again and never did. But now that I hurt my knee, I am ready to jog. See the irony? I am tied to the false story of wanting something I can't have; unable to take in gratitude for where I Am at in my process or my rituals of life. So I sit and I do ab workouts, and I stretch, and I self-massage and self-care, because it's what I would tell you!


I write this today as I celebrate my 2 year Self-Vow wedding anniversary.

In 2019, at the end of my Year of Healing program many of you know I undertook; we were to write our Selves Love and Promise Vows of life and liberty and putting our Higher Self first when it came to the divine relationship between Body & Spirit. Essentially, I asked Me to marry, and Me said Yes, and I put a ring on her (My) finger. It was from Tiffany's, and we bought a small summer white dress, and my ceremony took place barefoot with a homemade bouquet. My class were my guests, my family. They watched me walk down my own aisle and meet my Self in the large mirror that was propped up on stage. I never took my eyes off my reflection as I poured my heart out in Love, Respect, and Honor.

I put my own ring on and I danced back down the aisle in celebration of the commemoration of how strong and true and deeply profound this entire Shamanic Self Love ritual truly is. I have worn that ring every day since, and sometimes I admit, even I fault on my own Vows to my Self, due to losing myself in the everyday hustles and routines of lives and schedules.






So today, I reflect on rebuilding and resetting. Coming back to my own true nature, as we all are, in this coming season of Winter. There is a time for the quieting of the soul, and we are nearing it in just one week as we will enter the Winter Solstice. This is the time now more than ever, to go inward, and rebuild who we are into more of who we want to be. I ask myself, and I ask you, What do I need to shed in order to become a closer version of the person I want to be come Spring and how will the impact the life I have right now?



I promise this post won't be my last for another three years! As I write and post over the next while, I will include some of the original dates to some things I have kept hidden in my phone or the dates of experience. I can't wait to start really sharing with all of you, more of me and who I am on the other side of massage. But yes, there will probably be a lot of posts about WATER and why you need to drinking 80 ounces or more always, every day :)


This has been a really hard year, personally, and I am eternally grateful for your support and love on this journey. I will post more about this in-between other posts about Anatomy and the body.

If you have any suggestions or areas you'd like to read more about, just message me on the topic and I will put it in queue.





Peace of I,

- Z.LMB,FSC


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